There is a scene in the movie, The devil wears prada, where Andrea goes to Nigel looking for sympathy and he tells her : " there are a million girls who want your job. . . .You arent doing a favour by turning up for work.."

There are so many parallels that I can draw from both the book and the movie. Shameful self realisation.. Maybe,

About to fall asleep.

Unlucky

I shdv been home now. Whyyyyyyyyy :

I have often been too critical of men's fashion. But I find hope that my venom is not misplaced. every friday. Scott Adams has a some brilliant strips on Friday dressing which i strongly recommend all men to read.

Certain technical skills of mine may be a teeny bit , er.. not there. Why, cuz they were taught on fridays. The trainer had chosen that friday to showcase himself in a purple T. Now now... before u start visualising ripples of muscles. STOP. substitute N for the R. yeah.

Ugh

The Bathroom Blues
'Get out Sandy, out you get'
(How much I tried to sleep some more)
Much as she did, fume and fret,
Sandy Potter would bathe some more.

Hypnos escaped from the din,
I was wide awake and needed to pee.
Tables turned, roles flipped in.
'Out! out! ' yelled Bladder Banshee.

Why the rush? Why six to a loo?
Tight jeans-maintenance came yesterday
99 rupee tshirt sticking like glue.
'Water leak nako use karo hai'

Enough of flashback bathroom glory
Cut a long story short, we're dressed enfin!
The initial bathroom babe has no need to be early
Shes still at home ...

Documentation

Program : Z21_UR_FL
Transaction Code : Z21KLME
Brief Description in R/3
The custom transaction reads your mind to fetch you the purchase order of your choice. It also humidifes the air, Generates ozone and kills flies.

There are many days, when you wake up in the morning and wonder why you can't sleep a bit more. and then you realise. there is training hell waiting for you there. you must reach at nine. life isnt good anymore. you reached home just 5 hours ago. and its time to leave again. you must walk in mud to get to a place from where you may or may not see an auto. the auto may or may not stop. the guy may not take you to " hitech deloitte" . you wont reach on time.
no intelligent converstion. stupid stuck up girls. pseudo cool ppl. . . absolute lack of similar interests. oh, and did i mention the hectic schedule.


my hair is falling. .. . it has been 2 days since i took a bath
schedule :

reveille 0730, 0745 : 0800
office : 0910
lunch : 0115
dinner : ? ? 2100
home 0200
sleep 0215

There are many things that a sharp shooting pain in your neck can do to you. it made me do this :

why why why

why do i dislike poetry

why do i dislike anything at all

why cant ppl speak with babel

why cant i hear

why

Interlocked! : Continued observations in the land I live in

It was at my home some summers ago that my aunt (one of many of the same legion) came up to me, and by way of saying hello, held my hand. And proceeded to keep it held. the hand in question froze, and i fought every impulse to jerk it away. After a very long time, my hand, and the attached arm were freed! One is often at a loss when presented with this alien way of familiarity. A hug is normal, a handshake is acceptable too, but what are we signifying by holding hands like reunited lovers strolling on a beach?

Quite recently, after returning from a tiring wedding, we were simply sitting at the groom's place. Suddenly, a 2 tom weight plops on me. a grand- aunt, using me as a bye-pass to lean over. Acceptable, old age, et cetera. But why must she bloody grip my entire arm while leaning all over me?

I've been brought up in a non touchy way, and the last time i hugged my mother was when i had an amazingly scary bout of fever a year back. And i think with dad, it mustv been atleast 2 years back. and in school too, touching was limited to handshakes, boyfriends, and non european sterile mmwhas.

Thus, the touch culture in Kerala shocks me. By this, i do not condemn the concept of touching. But why are we prolonged-touching people. relative strangers. a pat on the back is a good way to meet a distant neice (me!). Spare me the the weird hand holding ceremony, goes the cry around the inner mind. (must-not-channel-PGW!!)

Another aspect of touching is the public man touching man scene. Befor eyou roll ur eyes and frame me as anti-gay, read on. There are 2 types of touchin in men that i have seen. Public : random ppl you dont know. the kind of person you see when u stare out the bus window. they sit on park benches, stand at bus stops and wear atrociously tight denim in outrageously sickening hues. Oh! and they grow one nail long- this is optional. and did i mention the hair color? In kerala, we get to see a lot of non gay touching. the next section proves it :
These are 2 guys i know to be absolutely straight. why on earth are they holding hands with fingers interlocked?! i just dont get it. no, they dont share an emotional friendship. the tall one barely talks for heavens sake. perhaps the HH was initiated by one party and the other was forced to follow suite. i wouldnt know. these are the kind of people who casually touch other men while seateed i a classroom, cafe, etc. nothing wrog in hugging the guy next to u on the bench. let your fingers caress his plump shoulders. aaaaaaaa.

I am at a loss. i hae not been able to dwelve into the psyche weird-malayali subsect of males and females. what makes them tick. rather Pick (my arm, and other arms in general)??

Flower Power : The importance of flora in marriages




Every self respecting (Malayali Hindu female) person pops off to a marriage with jasmine flowers in her hair. This often leads to many complex situations


flower forage

it isnt technically a forage. the actual foraging is probably done by some poor laborer chappie in Tamil Nadu . But lets not get into that here.

Here, above,you see how the ppl in yellow have flowers already. the other is taking the flowers out from a lotus (?) leaf in a plastic bag. the 4th person in the back is dejected as her mom didnt pack the necessary hair clip for fastening the flowers.




Flower Flower Everywhere

on the stage, in the hair. on lamps.around your neck!!








Female perspective : by now, your necklace hook and flowers have developed and immense passion for each other and are seriously considering a threesome with your hair.














Final phase

the ruddy things all tangled up with the saree,
jewellery and hair. By now, all you want to do is to rip it all off.

(the person in blue is not moving her hands so that her bangles jingle)

Bangles.

the more the merrier seems to be the motto.
Here you see the basic glass variety, flanked by golden ones. This went out of use ages ago, as ppl prefer less destructible material. and more xcope for glitter and gloss




They lead to many useful distractions. like here, where the person in blue moves her arm about for the audiovisual effect of 30+ bangles sayin hello to each other

69

is my waitlist rank at iitK 4 their MBA program.

FUN AND GAMES

Fun and games were anything but. After an interactive session with mr.ram about the event. Then a guy who looked like a cross between P.diddy and Damu the local tailor showed up. We were forced into teams and made to “have Fun” . the details are too painful to mention.

I will draw your attention to a dilbert strip where catbert(I think) gets a contract for teaching aerobics to engineers, cuz “ the others asked for money – you said you’d do it for the laughs” said the pointy haired boss.

PRIZE GIVING

we were marched like a flock of geese to the next venue. It was very hot. And sunny. And we were very thirsty. We saw people reclining on the grass. Someone familiar with Hindu imagery will remember Vishnu reclining on the giant serpent.

After much dilly dallying, the function finally started. They showed us clips from some “rock” concert. I spare you the details. Everyone was squirming. And laughing. I commented : are we in the right room.

2 healthy people from maharashtra got 3 and 2. Sony won 1^st. rather thrilled, I must say. Oh! And his acceptance speech was superb in contrast to the healthy boys’

3^rd : “ I am grateful to wipro (etc etc) I have been practicing a lot for this event. I used to do programming during my holidays

2^nd : “ once I realized I was in the final, I started doing extra questions. I am an electronics student, you see.

Sony : I did no prep. I came to have fun (words to that effect) my partner scolded me for not taking it seriously.

Mr. sadagopan (hope i got it rite) is the director of iiit Bangalore. He gave an interesting speech on what our priorities should be as engineers. The rest of the speeches may have been thought provoking, but I was dozing.

Enfin. The reimbursement. They refused to reimburse the cancellation charges we had to suffer cuz they rescheduled the event at the last moment. They couldn’t provide us with transport immed. We could get a bus if we waited till past 7.

We were asked to surrender our tickets for the reimbursement. Ms menon tried to take our return tickets also. This led to a situation that wd have bn funny.

We finally ended up having to pay thru the nose 4 the auto ride. It was a very dusty and bumpy ride. We were asked to be ready by 7 pm when Chris’ father would come. Everyone except Chris was ready. Like I said, “When it is someone else’s father, you tend to be on time.”

Rohit would be taking a flight to trivandrum.
Uncle gave us dinner at a nice place. The food was nice and we all ate with relish. We were really hungry. Chris had left nearly half of her food behind. I was hungry enough to have that too and perhaps if uncle wasn’t there, I may have. [:)]

We reached the station just in time 2145. The train was a bit late. We stood at the platform discussing marriage and duties of wives.

COIMBATORE

0630

I woke up and looked down from my middle berth to see Chris and sherin combing their hair. We soon reached the station. After waiting for about 45 mins at the platform, we trooped to KR bakes opposite the station. (btw, this station has no overbridge, it’s under!)

KR coimbatore is just like KR in Kerala in terms of customer service : eat if u want to. KRcoimbatore is horribly unclean and you need a gasmask to enter the toilet.

The next train was also late. Renu Sony and I checked our weights and fortunes, while the other 2 girls totally refused! we looked at some Caucasian tourists and wondered why they were there.

And finally, in the train.

We play with the motoming photoediting sw, gave sony a French beard.

Back Home

we got off at north. Took a bus home. Tada! End of trip

CodeZap Guru - Final round – Bangalore: Part2

VENUE

It was HOT. And I don’t mean cool. We had been asked to report at gate 13. we did so. The chaps there had no clue. We weren’t allowed to get in. 3 seniors from college came to meet us. I will not repeat the things they told us. I don't want them to lose their jobs. I don’t want to get sued. After much persuasion, we were allowed to stand in the shade of the gate. The security personnel at wipro are ruthlessly effective.(don't sue me)

After 15 mins

We were made to walk all the way to gate 10, no pavement. Dusty. Hot. Over there, the seniors from college left us at the “place where they give you an ID card”. By now we had explained to 7 people at wipro about our event. The card making was fairly easy. They took a pic of u with the Logitech camera, printed a form, stuck it in a plastic badge and gave it to you. Of course, they took liberties with the spelling and the photo looked more like ET than me.

2 female wipro employees whom we had noticed at the breakfast area herded all the contestants there to the desired venue. Tower 16. Did I mention b4 that it was hot? We walked...

There were 3 big elevators there, but nothing seemed to be available. Gives you an idea of the sheer volume of traffic. This portion of the building seemed slightly deconstructed!

We reached the comfy room where the test was to take place. We met Mr. Ram, the organizer. His face was to haunt me for the next 3.5 hrs as I tried to figure out where I had seen him before...rather who he resembled.

I needed to use the restroom. You need a Wipro employee id card if u have to leave the room. I finally managed to secure exit and entry thanks to Ms. Shobhana Menon, who we later found out was also Ms. Rajagopalan. The test had been outsourced to Devsquare.

Most of my test was spent looking at the counter so I could be free. Finally, when my test was over I started eating cookies. We weren’t allowed to leave. So I started playing minesweeper. The earlier records were credited to PARUL. Of course, I trashed her records. But things became boring again. Finally, we were given bags and caps. I must confess, the caps were really unwearable : White with an electric blue bill.

Chris had some problems with the software (everyone did, but hers were the worst) so she had to stay back to finish her work. We left for lunch.

There was a wide array of food to choose from. But most of the stuff was oversalted. I ended up forcing the jeera rice down my throat with buttermilk. Sherin had to dump her full biryani – she said she’d never seen it like this before. Oh! But the paranthas were really nice. Amazingly, the fussiest of us all, Rohit, ate everything!

We went to a room labeled the HAND WASH. There were no mirrors thus, you cannot wash your face. I went and showed my hand for the water to flow. I got fully drenched. The super-faucet!! I walked over to the other taps. By now, I had definitely washed more than my hand. I saw no tissue dispenser, but there were dustbins.

Chris joined us soon. We were taken to the place where we would try have Fun and Games. (like, when was the last time some1 told u : now ul have fun. And u actually did?!)

We had to walk a lot. Cuz the gate nearer to the destination was Entrance only- no exit. So we marched to the exit. I saw a boy, around 10, sitting on a moped.

CodeZap Guru - Final round - Electronics City - Bangalore

travel to the city was paid for by Wipro, but only 2nd class train fare. we had booked our tickets and were later told that the dates had changed. we had to cancel and rebook... of course, the cancellation charges thus incurred were not reimbursed! bye bye 80 bucks..

the trip began 337pm ,April 2, when I met renu at the karimakkadu jn, just as I remembered that my watch wasn’t working anymore , and that I hadn’t packed a tooth brush, paste, soap or towel. The brush and soap were easily purchased from the local store/shed.

The ride to Toll was easy, courtesy Renju Jose of electronics. We took the desired bus, which was desirable until hey asked us to pop off at kaloor. We then reboarded another bus, only to c the former bus speed past?!

Meanwhile, renu had forgotten her Id card. I of course couldn’t 4get it, cuz I had lost it ages ago. Her friend from Biomed was to race to the railway station and deliver it, much like we see in the movies.

At the station, nag and Sony were already there, Rohit came soon. But still no sign of the card carrying biker. The ticket bearers were already on the platform. The departure time was 5pm. It was 448 already. We moved to the platform, saying bye to nag.

The train had already come. We located the coach easily, but the ticket bearers were missing! After much effort and phone money, Sony set out in search of them, located them ,and brought them back. In the interim, I went and bought some water.

THE TRAIN JOURNEY

A middle aged nun and a tall guy prevented the 6 of us from sleeping in the set of 6 berths. But while we were awake, we played a lot of hand cricket (renu was a successful captain, unlike Sony, who was removed after he won the toss and lost twice!) and twenty questions, where sherin’s uncanny guessing ability helped her team win.

At palakkad, we had our dinner of veg biryani. Someone had bought roti. But the curry with it was atrocious. Chris and sherin had sandwiches from home. The nun had rice and beef packed in banana leaf.

Chris’ mother had asked her to pack a mug. Why? Indian railways provides no means for you to wash your bottom if you are traveling second class. 2^nd ac has a mug chained to the train!!

Renu and I got the side berths and she graciously let me have the lower berth. We sat and talked for a bit even after the others had slept, cuz renu had to have her last set of medicines. We soon discovered that the others were merely lying down. Sony was listening to music. Rohit’s feet were sticking out.

It has been instilled into many of us from a young age that train journeys are the best places for a young girl to loose her belongings. Thus I looped my handbag around my arm, wrapped my head in my shawl, mummified myself in a blanket, used my bag for a pillow and prayed that I wouldn’t fall off!

I woke up early and about an hour later, we reached the station. Chris’ father (central excise and customs) had sent a quails to pick us up. The chappie coolly ignored all the speed bumps along the way. We later found out that he is the raids-driver! We got lost. And we learnt some kannada phrases as we heard him ask for directions on the phone.

AT THE GUEST HOUSE

Azim premji foundation. The chaps at the security check looked into our baggage, issued id cards and let us in. needless to say, the campus was like an oasis of artificiality. Cultured lawns, planted trees. Nevertheless, very beautiful and pleasing.

After much form filling, we got our individual rooms. Chris tried to persuade us into sharing. I unlocked the door and started groping for the switches. Nothing happened. I touched a door, it creaked open and I saw someone moving! I screamed. But midscream, I realized that it was a bloody mirror, mounted on a bloody door. Now who the bloody hell comes up with such ideas to scare the friggin daylights outta people groping for light in a dark room!

My scream brought Sony, Chris, sherin and renu. They laughed a bit and bravely ventured in. none of them had been able to switch on their light either. Soon, a chappie came and inserted the key into a slot and the lights came on. What sweet irony. How is one to find the slot in the dark!?

I will not go into lengths to describe the room : bed, big curtained window, phone, phone book, pencil, 2 side tables, one table, 2 chairs, one teapoy, kettle, jug, glass, cup, box with coffee teabag sugar creamer. And now the jaguar infested washroom: regular toilet, no health hose(mug provided!) shower with hot/ cold mixer, big mirror with hot cold faucet, santoor soap, teeny shampoo, 2 towels – one of which I later wrapped around me like they do in movies. But I didn’t sing the song. And the towel was white, not pink.

I borrowed paste from sony. As I was doing so, renu told me that close up wasn’t too good for ur health. Renu and I took normal sized helpings of paste. On seeing this, sony said : oh, why so less paste?! I always take it like they showing the ads…

At 7 we went to have breakfast. Buffet. Then Chris’ dad came and picked us up. The road was under construction in many places. It was a dusty, bumpy ride at the back of a qualis. Chris’ dad gave her a motoming – Awesome!!!

Being anorexicaly thin all through my growing years, I had never given a though to exercise or to what I ate. My motto was rather simple. Eat till you became full. And I ate only what I liked. I was a vegetarian for some 8 years. Even now, my stomach turns at the sight of a leg of some hapless animal, slathered in masala, like some sad funeral shroud. But, (and I'm ashamed to confess) I eat with relish, unidentifiable forms of meat. A round burger, an oblong kebab, a cylindrical spring roll. Bring em on.

Before I venture any further, let me explain why I’m writing this in the first place. Ladies and gentlemen, people of my lands, “my Hipbones have vanished!”

The signs were there early on. How could I have missed them? 2 years ago, I suddenly saw myself not breathing while stuffing myself into my jeans. Ah those fabled 30’ – 30 year old jeans that my father had worn. And his brother before him. I consoled myself then, telling myself that female hips are supposed to become wide. Later I would think of what kajol said to Karan johar on a r with Simi g. ” u have wide childbearing hips!”

I went out an got myself a new pair of jeans. With a dash of Lycra, to be sure! Needless to say, my conservative mother frowned at the second skin.

It has been 3 months now. I am loosing shape, but not gaining weight. I have 3 spare tyres. I fold when I sit. Oh, and even Lycra has a limit, I can’t get into those too! Ladies and gentlemen. I present myself, 5ft 6’. 50 kgs. And finally fat.

CEK believes in Jesus. He was the reason she was placed in y! Her 5 other female friends also believed in him. But they weren’t placed in y. Here is what she has to say : “ it was like I opened my mouth, not knowing the answer, but the words were rolling off my tongue. My tongue was moving on its own. Hadn’t studied a thing”

But why didn’t you fellow worshippers get through?

“maybe because they didn’t study”

the problem is not their irrational belief. It is the fact that even when they make an illogical and contradictory statement, they don't realize it.

What makes me sad is the fact that 2 years ago, these girls were normal. They didn’t try to convert passing strangers. Nowadays it is too dangerous to walk past them or even look in their direction as they enact their strange rituals. No class event can be held on Fridays. Nope, it is not cuz we are suddenly very Islam savvy. It is cuz they have their prayer meeting that day. Here is an excerpt from that event:

“Who goes to heaven: a criminal and a murderer who believes in your Jesus or a pure innocent man who does not?”

“The criminal. Because he believes.”

C has more examples from her personal life to add value to this moot point. Her grandfather is pretty much ready to kick the clichéd bucket. He refuses to convert to her express brand of religion, preferring to stick to his old ways.

C says,” I have told him many times. What can I say, he is sure to go to hell. All non believers, even if they are Christians will go to hell.” Here was C, condemning her own grandfather to hell. Do the rest of us have a chance?

Let us now examine their M.O. the basic techniques are of 2 types: the abrupt grab and run and the slow torture method.

The first one is rather direct. They catch any person walking through and invite him to their meetings. Noone really goes. Initially, many people had a problem saying “ no way, assholes” to their faces. 2 years on, the vast majority seems to have overcome this problem.

The second methos can be best illustrated using exhibit A : sMS, who incidentally, plans to do her MS in the Uk. Due to her absolutely boring persona and perceivable lack of communication skills, even when the 4^th company had come and gone, she found herself jobless. Thus J’s girls moved in for the kill. “ pray with us. Unless you love Jesus, you’ll never get a job.”

they went to the terrace, the believers and a confused girl. They held hands in a circle and prayed. The very next day, snupa ms got a job in Nest, the local IT firm.

Another example : rohit u nair was having his final Y! interview. Outside, braving the chilling cold and the warring mosquitoes, his 3 loyal friends stood outside the principal’s room. They held hands and prayed. You can guess the rest. Rohit is now a yahooligan.

It is also unsafe to hold normal conversations with these fanatics.

You: “hey B, how was the test?”

B: “ thanks to Jesus, I could do all the questions. He saved me. Especially question 2a”

The dream

i saw it in third person. But i was one of the ppl present there. I had a blunt cut. Black hair. I seemed to be dresed like i was in america in the nineties. A suit an all.

I was standing outside a metallic door, with my back pressed against the wall. There were some more women there.

There was someone inside the prison. He was holding some people hostage. And we had switched off the lights. He wanted them on. And then the police could enter. The police wanted this in reverse. Why?! Seemed logical at the time.

It was going to be a jailbreak. Everyone had anticipated it. I swiitch. It was my husband inside the prison door. I became him.

I shoot out through the back door. The wall. There is the next shingled roof just above the wall. But there is a person there already. I already knew that. I jump left, turn and sprint. Run seems too mundane.

The buildings vanish. Trees and dry grass. The leaves crunch beneath my feet. Surprisingly, noone has a gun.i merely outrun the people who have been stationed all along the route.

I am nearly caught. But i jump down a mini cliff. And the hrithik roshan dhoom II music plays in my ears. I land in a net of creepers. And turn and run again. There seems to be a fence of some sort, and a singular person dressed in combat boots, dark green pants and a close fitting faded white t shirt.

I run across him diagonally. And voila! I am above a railway station. There is a train below me, it's starting to leave. I wait. I mustnt jump too soon or he'll follow. I mustnt wait too long or he'll catch up. I stand at the edge. He is coming. I junp. This time, there is no music. No realisation of freedom

the dream ends.

trip to kanpur

TRAIN : the journey was rather uneventful. there was daal to eat all the time. there were some mallu an tamil ppl(bank an rail officers) who kept on eating someone's mothers chapatis and cracking schoolboy jokes and giggling like girls!! We reached on sunday at 1130 am. there was a chap from DrPhani's(valyachas student.) office who received us at the stairs(MRS Ramachandran IITKanpur, read the printout). the car was indica.

Kanpur is dirty. there are no raods.there was one flyover. cycle-rickshaws. cows


IITK is some 2000acres. and very clean. there are peacocks roaming around.
we went and registered.
then checked into the Visitoors Hostel. it was amazingly plush. a suite. with cable n comp.nice sofas, very comf.

soon, after we took our bath.lunched at te place downstairs. buffet, nice. DrP and family(wife mamta, kid mansa- 11th)came. then we went to his house. he left to interview more ppl. he sed we are rather useles.. and that workEx counts a loooot.

at his house. we sat anround. ate grapes. the water in K tastes different- in a not nice manner. i read asterix and the actress. then we left an came back. we then met again at his place 4 dinner. aunty 4got to serve the chapatis that she had made.

saw some tv. i slept at 11.

Monday: interview!!

1st a ppt .
then taken to interview place.
dided into grps.
there were 5 girls 4 the mornig session. there were 6 grps. each girl was in a different group. most ppl had work ex. very few were freshers. hm

interview wasnt too good.
gd was nice

then waht...

back to room by 1230.
lunched.

then saw some tv:)
at 830 taxi came. drP also came to station.

caught a diff train than what had bn booked as that one was very late. tatkal. only one confirmed. other rac. valyama an i had to share a 3 tier 2nd class berth.

TUESDAY: reached delhi in the morning.
took a taxi
reached airpt at 0730
brushed etc.
original time of departure - 0955
called to board - 1030
announced departure time - 1045
sat in plane till - 1130
took off at 1130

food given; also cd see all relief an landscape . very nice/ also saw wing flap etc during landing..

hyderabad - 230 or so. ppl got out . ppl gt in . quick

330 pm - cochin. 359 pm - out ,met valyachan.

440- reacched home.

when electros rule the world

21-2-2007, 5:47pm

Today, as i was sitting on my bench in 209, Prabin, Renju and Robby came running to me. Using my great intelligence, i immediately divined that this might have something to do with the B****T thread.

Around an hour of verbal arguments ensued. Many a times many of the participants (self incl.) put a toe accross the threshold of decency. Here are a few highlights of the conversation.

Renju: "Prabin nee mindaandirikku. "
Neelima: "So you say that they are less deserving."
Renju: "We selected the 21 most deserving people."

and so on and so forth.... you get the drift.This parley continued until Cecil stepped in with an admirable mix of wit and mediation.

The discussion dramatically concluded with myself asking them, "Do you say that event organizers are less deserving than these 21 people ?"

Roby: "Yes they are less deserving."

No discernable reply was obtained elsewhere.


Log :
Written by: J.Neelakantan Nair
End Time: 5:59pm

A report on vanita ice (guys, it’s not vanilla ice)

After a 50m walk in the blazing sun, u reach the entrance, where they proclaim “ 30 Rs”, a 5 re hike from before . Unlike last time, no free pens, shampoo sachets or toffees were being given. The rude woman at the counter snatches ur ticket. The loud boys then ask u to fill in ur name an address, “u may win an lg flatron tv”

Enter the ac halls. no changes have been made to the order of the stall. After the consumer goods (plasma tv, dishwasher etc etc) you encounter the furniture (5 stalls). There is an interesting offer at Faberge, 22k for a full sofa set and tea table. There is one stall for nonstick cookware.

Then we see the socks at the same corner stall where they were last time. Moving on, you are accosted by various kitchen appliances people.

There were 2 stalls selling girl-stuff. The first one, on the right, is totally knife! 80 rs for an earring (big size). 40 rs (medium size – but not good quality) then 30 rs(thin small ones – these were ok) this stall also had cosmetics. The next stall, on the left was better, mainly as the salesman spoke Malayalam. They had nice hairclips(10,20,30,40 rs) and similarly priced earrings. They also had those fancy things u hang on ur hair. Key chains were also there. Here’s one for all our smokers. There were very realistic kechains featuring a burning cigarette.

There were about 2 stalls selling cotton clothes, Kutras etc. nothing great. Rajasthani bed sheets, Kashmiri embroidery, Grasim cool fabrics, etc.

I was then accosted by the aquaguard guy, who spent 3 mins explaining how amoeba, viruses and bacteria were mercilessly destroyed by his product. (we boil water at home). The thing costs nearly 7k and you have to get it serviced there every 6 months for 130 rs. If u were to go and give it at the office for servicing, it is free. Also, if u chose to book one on the spot, you get “ madam, kuda, umbrella, free!!”

Suddenly, you see the bright sun shining outside. Many women exclaimed,” is it over?!”

But it was not. It was just a trick diversion. Ccd coffee, ice cream. Then u turn into another aisle, back into the ac. Moving on, you see the knives stall.

Here in the second section, you see two stalls for jewellery, some more cotton clothes. There is a mehndi stall – one hand 15 rs.

The clothes stalls are reasonable for kerala standards – kashmiri embroider – 200rs. Mirror work-150.

Finally, there is a delicious rajasthani achar stall – mouthwatering. 50 rs for 300 gm is the rate for most types. There is a Reynolds stall nearby.

There are 2 fake watch stalls in all. The first one has range 150-250-300. But the selection seemed poor. I saw priyanka’s white leaf shaped watch here. The second stall sells them at 150-300. But here u get more decent watches that don’t look too fake. I saw the exact replica of bilky’s watch here [J]. This shop was handing out free entrance coupons, but then again, u cn take them from ur newspaper too.

We exit into the blinding sunlight- coffee, ice cream, chaat and sugarcane juice. The chaat, at 20rs a plate is a miserable excuse for food. It is too salty. There are the other regular items too.

Verdict – go if u have free coupons. Not worth rs 30 per head.

wedding - renu's brother's

The day started at 0430 when my mom woke me up to say she was leaving. The alarm didn’t wake me up at 0830 and I woke to a surge of panic at 0909. Then I realized that I wasn’t supposed to be anywhere before 12! I hobbled out to the door to retrieve my newspapers. What would the neighbours think – asleep till 9! Oh the shame!

I scooted past the Sunday walkers and meat buyers and into the parking space at toll. Into a bus and at high court at 1143. There, I saw a deep red car with flowers on it. I mused on the possibility that this might, indeed be the car bearing Renu and her family. Had I been Unni, I would have surely walked over, rapped on the flowered window and terrified the inhabitants. After a while, the car pulled up from the kerb and passed into the side lane. It was indeed Renu inside. She seemed preoccupied.

At 1202, I saw Lisa and Smitha pass by in a bus. Lisa was superbly turned out, as everyone would later acclaim – Bilky included. Here’s an interesting anecdote: Lisa had gone with her bro to the shoe store to buy herself new shoes. The attendant, in what we must assume is the local style of kottayam, asked her,” is it your engagement?”

Lisa was at a loss for words. She later thought that if she had worn more jewellery, he might have asked,” is it your marriage?” the sandals in question, however, are not at all engagement like. White with multicolor patters.

But I wander from the main plot. On reaching the church (after passing the kappal palli) I was reminded by Lisa that I could wish for 3 things when I enter a church for the first time. She said that she wanted to visit all the 3 churches so that she could wish for 9 things. I don’t think god appreciates greed. [:-)]

We entered and saw royden and Renu. She looked smashing in her deep purple sari with embroidered mango motifs et al with sequins and stones. Her bangles too were done tastefully.

Smitha led us to the “girls “side of the church where we would take our seats. We got seats almost immediately. Lisa mentioned that the bench was too narrow. But I said to myself at that time, “it isn’t a park.. and perhaps too much comfort might induce sleep.”

The bride and groom looked awesome.

The service was reminiscent of sports day at school.

there is supposed to be a beach trip on monday - i wonder if any of the fundamentalists will turn up. many girls may not come. i wonder then, if i may go myself.

mom's gonna be away with n. she's rather scared to leave me alone. and she knows that there is nothing i can do that is against her 'laws'. i wonder what to wear on sunday. it's a christian wedding. mom says that they usually dress with classic elegance or whatever. but r's sari is rather ornate. i like wearing saris . y can't i then? hm. there is the feeling of awkardness. but shd i really care? can't i just wear what i feel like. or will they think i'm bein too self important. argh. indian dress codes. really!

one is often uncomfortable putting across to the general public thought which shd , well, be . oh forget it.
i think i shall use this medium more constructively. muhhahaha