Being anorexicaly thin all through my growing years, I had never given a though to exercise or to what I ate. My motto was rather simple. Eat till you became full. And I ate only what I liked. I was a vegetarian for some 8 years. Even now, my stomach turns at the sight of a leg of some hapless animal, slathered in masala, like some sad funeral shroud. But, (and I'm ashamed to confess) I eat with relish, unidentifiable forms of meat. A round burger, an oblong kebab, a cylindrical spring roll. Bring em on.

Before I venture any further, let me explain why I’m writing this in the first place. Ladies and gentlemen, people of my lands, “my Hipbones have vanished!”

The signs were there early on. How could I have missed them? 2 years ago, I suddenly saw myself not breathing while stuffing myself into my jeans. Ah those fabled 30’ – 30 year old jeans that my father had worn. And his brother before him. I consoled myself then, telling myself that female hips are supposed to become wide. Later I would think of what kajol said to Karan johar on a r with Simi g. ” u have wide childbearing hips!”

I went out an got myself a new pair of jeans. With a dash of Lycra, to be sure! Needless to say, my conservative mother frowned at the second skin.

It has been 3 months now. I am loosing shape, but not gaining weight. I have 3 spare tyres. I fold when I sit. Oh, and even Lycra has a limit, I can’t get into those too! Ladies and gentlemen. I present myself, 5ft 6’. 50 kgs. And finally fat.

CEK believes in Jesus. He was the reason she was placed in y! Her 5 other female friends also believed in him. But they weren’t placed in y. Here is what she has to say : “ it was like I opened my mouth, not knowing the answer, but the words were rolling off my tongue. My tongue was moving on its own. Hadn’t studied a thing”

But why didn’t you fellow worshippers get through?

“maybe because they didn’t study”

the problem is not their irrational belief. It is the fact that even when they make an illogical and contradictory statement, they don't realize it.

What makes me sad is the fact that 2 years ago, these girls were normal. They didn’t try to convert passing strangers. Nowadays it is too dangerous to walk past them or even look in their direction as they enact their strange rituals. No class event can be held on Fridays. Nope, it is not cuz we are suddenly very Islam savvy. It is cuz they have their prayer meeting that day. Here is an excerpt from that event:

“Who goes to heaven: a criminal and a murderer who believes in your Jesus or a pure innocent man who does not?”

“The criminal. Because he believes.”

C has more examples from her personal life to add value to this moot point. Her grandfather is pretty much ready to kick the clichéd bucket. He refuses to convert to her express brand of religion, preferring to stick to his old ways.

C says,” I have told him many times. What can I say, he is sure to go to hell. All non believers, even if they are Christians will go to hell.” Here was C, condemning her own grandfather to hell. Do the rest of us have a chance?

Let us now examine their M.O. the basic techniques are of 2 types: the abrupt grab and run and the slow torture method.

The first one is rather direct. They catch any person walking through and invite him to their meetings. Noone really goes. Initially, many people had a problem saying “ no way, assholes” to their faces. 2 years on, the vast majority seems to have overcome this problem.

The second methos can be best illustrated using exhibit A : sMS, who incidentally, plans to do her MS in the Uk. Due to her absolutely boring persona and perceivable lack of communication skills, even when the 4^th company had come and gone, she found herself jobless. Thus J’s girls moved in for the kill. “ pray with us. Unless you love Jesus, you’ll never get a job.”

they went to the terrace, the believers and a confused girl. They held hands in a circle and prayed. The very next day, snupa ms got a job in Nest, the local IT firm.

Another example : rohit u nair was having his final Y! interview. Outside, braving the chilling cold and the warring mosquitoes, his 3 loyal friends stood outside the principal’s room. They held hands and prayed. You can guess the rest. Rohit is now a yahooligan.

It is also unsafe to hold normal conversations with these fanatics.

You: “hey B, how was the test?”

B: “ thanks to Jesus, I could do all the questions. He saved me. Especially question 2a”

The dream

i saw it in third person. But i was one of the ppl present there. I had a blunt cut. Black hair. I seemed to be dresed like i was in america in the nineties. A suit an all.

I was standing outside a metallic door, with my back pressed against the wall. There were some more women there.

There was someone inside the prison. He was holding some people hostage. And we had switched off the lights. He wanted them on. And then the police could enter. The police wanted this in reverse. Why?! Seemed logical at the time.

It was going to be a jailbreak. Everyone had anticipated it. I swiitch. It was my husband inside the prison door. I became him.

I shoot out through the back door. The wall. There is the next shingled roof just above the wall. But there is a person there already. I already knew that. I jump left, turn and sprint. Run seems too mundane.

The buildings vanish. Trees and dry grass. The leaves crunch beneath my feet. Surprisingly, noone has a gun.i merely outrun the people who have been stationed all along the route.

I am nearly caught. But i jump down a mini cliff. And the hrithik roshan dhoom II music plays in my ears. I land in a net of creepers. And turn and run again. There seems to be a fence of some sort, and a singular person dressed in combat boots, dark green pants and a close fitting faded white t shirt.

I run across him diagonally. And voila! I am above a railway station. There is a train below me, it's starting to leave. I wait. I mustnt jump too soon or he'll follow. I mustnt wait too long or he'll catch up. I stand at the edge. He is coming. I junp. This time, there is no music. No realisation of freedom

the dream ends.

trip to kanpur

TRAIN : the journey was rather uneventful. there was daal to eat all the time. there were some mallu an tamil ppl(bank an rail officers) who kept on eating someone's mothers chapatis and cracking schoolboy jokes and giggling like girls!! We reached on sunday at 1130 am. there was a chap from DrPhani's(valyachas student.) office who received us at the stairs(MRS Ramachandran IITKanpur, read the printout). the car was indica.

Kanpur is dirty. there are no raods.there was one flyover. cycle-rickshaws. cows


IITK is some 2000acres. and very clean. there are peacocks roaming around.
we went and registered.
then checked into the Visitoors Hostel. it was amazingly plush. a suite. with cable n comp.nice sofas, very comf.

soon, after we took our bath.lunched at te place downstairs. buffet, nice. DrP and family(wife mamta, kid mansa- 11th)came. then we went to his house. he left to interview more ppl. he sed we are rather useles.. and that workEx counts a loooot.

at his house. we sat anround. ate grapes. the water in K tastes different- in a not nice manner. i read asterix and the actress. then we left an came back. we then met again at his place 4 dinner. aunty 4got to serve the chapatis that she had made.

saw some tv. i slept at 11.

Monday: interview!!

1st a ppt .
then taken to interview place.
dided into grps.
there were 5 girls 4 the mornig session. there were 6 grps. each girl was in a different group. most ppl had work ex. very few were freshers. hm

interview wasnt too good.
gd was nice

then waht...

back to room by 1230.
lunched.

then saw some tv:)
at 830 taxi came. drP also came to station.

caught a diff train than what had bn booked as that one was very late. tatkal. only one confirmed. other rac. valyama an i had to share a 3 tier 2nd class berth.

TUESDAY: reached delhi in the morning.
took a taxi
reached airpt at 0730
brushed etc.
original time of departure - 0955
called to board - 1030
announced departure time - 1045
sat in plane till - 1130
took off at 1130

food given; also cd see all relief an landscape . very nice/ also saw wing flap etc during landing..

hyderabad - 230 or so. ppl got out . ppl gt in . quick

330 pm - cochin. 359 pm - out ,met valyachan.

440- reacched home.

when electros rule the world

21-2-2007, 5:47pm

Today, as i was sitting on my bench in 209, Prabin, Renju and Robby came running to me. Using my great intelligence, i immediately divined that this might have something to do with the B****T thread.

Around an hour of verbal arguments ensued. Many a times many of the participants (self incl.) put a toe accross the threshold of decency. Here are a few highlights of the conversation.

Renju: "Prabin nee mindaandirikku. "
Neelima: "So you say that they are less deserving."
Renju: "We selected the 21 most deserving people."

and so on and so forth.... you get the drift.This parley continued until Cecil stepped in with an admirable mix of wit and mediation.

The discussion dramatically concluded with myself asking them, "Do you say that event organizers are less deserving than these 21 people ?"

Roby: "Yes they are less deserving."

No discernable reply was obtained elsewhere.


Log :
Written by: J.Neelakantan Nair
End Time: 5:59pm